iFight: Battle of the Indie Bands

News has been slow. I, for one, cannot handle learning another painfully dull story about a male musician from the 8th most popular boyband. Instead of sitting idly by, I decided to indulge myself and test my creative writing skills. I’ve gathered a collection of mid-level musicians and I present fictional stories that I contrived out of a need for content.

Art by Brit Abrams

MUNA vs. King Princess

• MUNA enlisted Amandla Stenberg (King Princess’ ex) to be in a music video of their debut album as one of the main love interests. King Princess shaded Stenberg’s involvement by thanking MUNA for employing her many years after her breakout role as Rue in The Hunger Games (2012).

Beabadoobee vs. Halsey

• During a US tour, Beabadoobee asked Halsey for a cig. Beabadoobee did not realize that slang for a cigarette in the UK (f**) is a homophobic slur in the U.S.

Snail mail vs Girl in Red

• Snail mail mocked one of Girl in Red’s thirst traps and dueted her on TikTok with exaggerated movements. The video was captioned “lesbian thirst traps.”

Kim Petras vs. RuPaul

• Kim Petras had a scheduling conflict and couldn’t be a guest judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race. The excuse was that Kim Petras didn’t feel like interacting with old gay men today. RuPaul posted the screenshots to Twitter.

Clairo vs. Frankie Cosmos

• Well-known nepotism baby, Clairo, is called out by lesser known nepotism baby, Greta Kline of Frankie Cosmos. Kline commented on Clairo “ Clairo didn’t work hard enough to get into the industry.” Clairo posts this screenshot of little Greta singing in a Noah Baumbach feature, The Squid and the Whale (2005). In Clairo’s post, it will be noted what Klines' parents’ net worth is.

Car Seat Headrest vs. Phoebe Bridgers

• Phoebe Bridgers recently tweeted that furry artists haven't contributed anything to society. Will Toledo, the lead singer of Car Seat Headrest, took it personally and responded with a series of tweets. Bridgers has since apologized to the community.

If Halsey can order for a fall of the world trade center, anything is possible <3!