The Forgotten Dick (1999)

Before Judd Apatow terrorized our screens with a blend of toilet humor and possibly every slur his demented little pea brain could contrive, we had Dick (1999). Dick (1999) is a little-known political comedy from the late 90s that manages to make the dick joke clever. Instead of referring to a shriveled pasty appendage, most likely uncircumcised, the writers are referring to the disgraced Former President of the United States, Richard Nixon.

Dick (1999) centers on a fictional storyline in which two teenage girls, Betsy Jobs and Arlene Lorenzo, played by fetus Michelle Williams and Kirsten Dunst, are prominent whistleblowers in the Watergate scandal. Dick (1999) is a stoner comedy at its worst and a self-aware camp satire at its best.

Dick (1999) treats the audience like it's high and can’t tell that the outfits aren’t historically accurate. The costume director seemed to have raided the local Spirit Halloween and pocketed the rest of the money. Either the costume director is a woman strapped for cash or it's an incredibly clever decision meant to confuse the audience. That decision would be acceptable had they chosen to deliver the edibles eaten by every member of the executive branch in the movie directly to my childhood bedroom, but I watched it sober. So, being told that peace signs were the epitome of 70s fashion was insulting at the very least.

While Dick (1999) has its faults, the writing is strong. The story is largely fictional, yet it feels like something that could happen in real life. It doesn’t shy away from unusual jokes or plot points, making the film enjoyable. Even with stranger plot points, like when Williams’ character develops feelings for Nixon, it makes sense to create this uncomfortable dynamic on screen. Betsy and Arlene don’t grow substantially even if that’s what the audience might want. While it was frustrating watching them not become more radicalized, it did seem like the likely progression for two girls that read below their grade level and were more excited about going to McDonald’s than the White House.

I suspect the ideal prototypes of masculinity, a Richard Nixon look-a-like and an adolescent Ryan Reynolds, can persuade even the most devoted lesbians and unimaginative straight men to devote 94 minutes to Dick (1999). It’s possible all 30 pages of lesbian propaganda known as the “The Lesbian Masterdoc” was misguided.